Three Steps to Living Audaciously: Setting Your Lifetime Legacy Mission

My lifetime legacy mission (LLM) is to educate, equip, & empower 100 million entrepreneurs & leaders worldwide to reach their greatest personal & organizational potential.

In my last two speaking engagements, I watched the audience’s reactions as the conference coordinator read my bio aloud. People were taken aback. They raised their eyebrows and smiled in surprise.

During my remarks, I put my lifetime legacy mission into perspective:

• There are approximately 400 million entrepreneurs in the world, so my goal only reflects 25% of that population.
• I’m only 48, so I estimate I have another 40 years ahead of me to make my impact.
• There are so many ways to reach people globally today. Between my writing, speaking, online products (in development), merchandising line (in development), and consulting, I should be able to touch a lot of people.
• Even if I achieve only 50% of my goal, I’m still impacting 50 million people, which isn’t so shabby.

Here is what I know for sure:  If I don’t envision it, and put it out there, it will never happen.

• Elon Musk (Founder of PayPal, SpaceX, and Tesla)
• Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon)
• Mark Zuckerberg (Founder of Facebook)
• Steve Case & Ted Leonsis (Founders of AOL)

These are just a few audacious thinkers who have committed to changing the world.

Why shouldn’t you think big? Because someone else may find your idea to be grandiose? Because you sound unrealistic? Are those really reasons to limit our thinking?

“Thinking realistically is the quickest path to mediocrity.” ~Will Smith

I can’t remember the exact day when I committed to my LLM, but I do know this: everything changed the day I committed.

When I start to get tired, I remind myself of why the little things matter. When I doubt myself, or question why I am doing what I am doing, I reach back to my LLM, and the possibility of helping so many others live up to their potential.

You can set an LLM too, and here is how you do it.

• Think about what fuels you. What creates a fire inside of you? When an opportunity presents itself, or when you have achieved a specific result, how does that impact you emotionally, physically, and spiritually?
• Think about your success without limits. If you had absolutely no constraints (money, time, resources, energy), what would success look like for you? Think BIG. Think audaciously.

• Craft your LLM using this format:

My lifetime legacy mission is to:

1: Insert Verb

2: Follow that with the number of people you want to impact

3: Follow that with the target population you will impact

4: Follow that with how you will impact them

Your LLM should be connected to what you are doing every day. If it’s not, you need to re-evaluate what you are doing every day, and how you are spending your valuable time.

As a Melanoma survivor, I have a very healthy respect for mortality. Our lives pass by in the blink of an eye. Every day you should LOVE what you are doing. If you don’t, what is holding you back?

Your LLM begins with the mindset that you are capable and worthy of living a life that delivers joy, fulfillment, and impact to yourself and everyone you touch.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

Your LLM is inside of your heart & spirit right now.  “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.”

My hope is that as I let my own light shine, I am unconsciously giving you permission to do the same. As I am liberated from my own fears of failure, loss, and disappointment, my hope is that my presence automatically liberates you.

Today, commit to developing your LLM. I would love to hear your mission. Please email me your LLM at [email protected] and indicate if I have permission to share.

The world needs your light!

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About Successful Culture
We work with business owners, CEOs, and leadership teams that want to achieve their greatest personal & organizational potential. Through coaching, strategic consulting, retreat facilitation, and workshops, we equip leaders & emerging leaders with the mindset, tools, strategies, and processes they need to excel.

Ready to move forward? Email us today at [email protected]

Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. Engage with me during my morning Periscope sessions as well (@marissalevin).

Please check out my Inc. Magazine columns on my Author Page too.

~Marissa Levin
CEO, Successful Culture
“Taking Leaders from Triage to Transformation.”

How Emotional Intelligence Increases Your Success; 6 Easy Strategies to Increase Your EQ

Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) is a term created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer. It was popularized by Dan Goleman in his 1996 book of the same name. (Emotional Intelligence). They define Emotional Intelligence as the ability to:

• Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions
• Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others

• Self-awareness: knowledge of our own emotional state and how we are showing up in the world.
• Self-regulation: ability to control how we are showing up, and to keep our emotions in check when situations call for control.
• Motivation: (defined as “a passion for work that goes beyond money and status”): what moves us to do our best?
• Empathy for others: feeling for others when they are experiencing emotions (positive or negative) as a result of their own life experiences.
• Social skills: Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks with communication.

• Insensitivity: People who are insensitive are often perceived to be uncaring. Others are less likely to want to work with them or offer help.
• Arrogance: A mentor once defined arrogance as “unearned confidence.” Arrogant people project superiority and egotism. They are often closed off to feedback from others, and believe that their way of thinking is the only possibility. They do not make good team players.
• Volatility: Volatile people are disruptive, unpredictable, and not attuned to the emotional states and concerns of others. Their presence impedes and harms progress because their emotional state can distract and destroy the advancement of key relationships or initiatives.
• Rigidity: Inflexible thinking significantly impedes an individual’s ability to connect with others at a deeper level and establish trust because they are shut down to different perspectives. A relationship can’t develop when one person refuses to grow or accept new ways of thinking.
• Selfishness: The best leaders always subjugate their own personal agendas for the greater good of the organization or the team. When we are driven by our own selfish motives, others are unable to trust us because they know we do not have their best interests in mind.

1. Keep a journal. Create a list of situations or events that “trigger” negative emotions, such as anger or frustration. Then write out a strategy to deal with these situations in a positive and effective manner. Review these strategies often so you’re prepared to put them into practice.
2. Practice being calm. The next time you’re in a challenging situation, be mindful of your response. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Do you clench your teeth? Does your heart rate accelerate? Counting to 10, or closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, will help you control your emotions so that your emotions don’t control you. Remind yourself that a negative reaction to a stressful situation will likely make the situation worse, and will impact your relationships with others long after the situation has passed.
3. Be positive. Emotionally intelligent leaders lead from a place of optimism. They find the silver lining in the storm, and view challenges as learning opportunities. As leaders, they are aware that their reactions will set the tone for how others respond to difficulty.
4. Put yourself in someone else’s position. Strengthen your empathy muscle. It’s always easy to support your own point of view. Emotionally intelligent leaders always consider how decisions and situations impact others. Empathy tells others that you care about their well-being and success, and that they are not alone in their difficulty. They also communicate their support.
5. Pay attention to body language. When you listen to someone, do you cross your arms or look around? This tells others how you really feel about a situation, even if you are speaking a different message. Learning to read body language can be a real asset in a leadership role, because you’ll be better able to determine how someone truly feels. This gives you the opportunity to respond appropriately.
6. Practice gratitude. As a leader, you can inspire the loyalty of your team simply by showing appreciation. It tells people you are paying attention, and that you acknowledge that others are essential to your success.

Check out my interview on Organizational Culture on Tony Robbins’ Podcast!

Tony Robbins launched The Tony Robbins Podcast on March 30. Not surprisingly, it immediately rocketed to the top of iTunes. After all, anyone who can convince 6,000 people to walk across hot coals together–including Oprah Winfrey–can achieve just about anything.

My episode, “Transforming Your Company’s Culture,” was released on April 10.

In my interview, I share many nuggets of wisdom on how to build an exceptional organizational culture. My insights apply to organizations of all sizes. The one thing that is required in all organizations is a commitment from the top to build a culture that enables all employees to thrive at their highest levels, and reach their greatest potential.

All cultures start with a core foundation of a strong values system, a clear mission, and a transformational vision. I share how to build these elements, and how to ensure they live throughout your company.

I also share many other insights on what the organizational cultures of the future will look like, and how to attract & retain the very best talent.

Some insights that I shared are:

1. “Every company has a culture, whether it is intentional or whether it’s by default.”
2. “Every hire that you make, those core values have to be in the job description. And when you’re interviewing potential employees you want to say here are our core values, what inspired you to want to work for our company specifically?”
3. “The way people live their life outside of the organization is going to be reflected on how they treat the people inside the organization.”
4. “So the first thing that you have to do to fix a culture, to reverse engineer it, is to get a pulse check on what the employees think because their opinions are what matter the most.”

I am sure you will get lots of valuable & actionable content from the time you invest in listening.

Again, you can access the podcast here.

Wishing you continued success on your journey!

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Three Questions Great Leaders Ask Themselves in the 21st Century

I recently designed and facilitated a two-day leadership training program for senior managers in the Air Force. The program objective was to educate them on the mindset and skillset required to lead effectively in the 21^st century. They work in an environment of heavy demands, limited resources, and severe time constraints, and are challenged to motivate a highly-pressured workforce.

My training included 7 interactive and introspective modules. In each module I included a TED Talk on leadership and a discussion worksheet to encourage transfer of concepts from the presenter to the student.

One of the TED Talks I shared was “What it Takes to be a Good Leader” by Roselinde Torres. In her talk, she shared her experiences of working with hundreds of organizations to uncover why leadership ability is declining, even though attention to leadership development is increasing.

She presented three questions that all leaders will need to constantly ask themselves as they hone their leadership skills in the 21^st century:

1. Where are you looking to anticipate change? To answer this question, she recommends looking in one place: your calendar. With whom are you spending your time, and on what topics? What are you reading? How are you distilling?  Great leaders see around corners and shape their future based on what they see. What you read, where you are, and who you are with will shape what you see.
2. What is the diversity metric of your personal and professional stakeholder network? To some extent, we all have a network of people that mirror us. This question addresses your capacity to develop relationships with people that are different than you. Those differences can be biological, physical, functional, political, cultural, socioeconomic. And yet, despite these differences, they connect with you and they trust you enough to cooperate with you in achieving a shared goal. Great leaders understand that having a more diverse network is a source of pattern identification at higher levels, and is an important component in solving problems, because you have people that think differently than you do.
3. Are you courageous enough to abandon a practice that has made you successful in the past? There is an expression: Go along to get along. But if you follow this advice, chances are as a leader, you’re going to keep doing what’s familiar and comfortable.

Great leaders dare to be different. They don’t just talk about risk-taking, they actually do it. The most impactful development comes when you are able to build the emotional stamina to withstand people telling you that your new idea is naïve, reckless or impractical.

When you step out with a new idea, the people who will join you are not your usual suspects in your network. They’re often people that think differently and therefore are willing to join you in taking a courageous leap. And it’s a leap, not a step.

Asking yourself these three questions will force you to have important conversations with yourself, and examine how you are showing up in the world & in your organizations. All great leadership begins with self-awareness. We can only lead others well when we know ourselves well.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”  ~Aristotle

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Quarterly Recap of My Columns – All In One Place!

As we near the end of the first quarter, I’ve consolidated and recapped my columns from my Successful Culture blog, my Inc. Magazine column, and my SmartCEO column.  I have difficulty keeping up with my own content, so I can only imagine how hard it is for you to do the same!

As always, I am incredibly grateful for your continued support. I take my role in your journey to realizing your greatest potential very seriously, and strive to create content that is actionable, relevant, and supportive.

You may share all of my columns/content, as long as your properly attribute me, as well as my source.

If you have any topics you would like me to address in any of my columns, please email me at [email protected] and I will be happy to write them for you!

Successful Culture Leadership Blog

The link to access all of my Successful Culture columns is https://www.successfulculture.com/blog/

Breaking Through the Mental Barrier
Did you know that 99% of marathon runners complete their marathons? They don’t accomplish this because they are all extraordinary runners. They accomplish this because they’ve mentally trained themselves to push through the pain and the mental roadblocks. Here I share my experiences and lessons learned of breaking through two mental barriers this week. My intention is to equip you with the insights you need to push through your barriers too.

One Great Strategy to Work ON Your Business Instead of IN Your Business (With Awesome Results)
If you could make just one change, and shift your business model ever so slightly to achieve more happiness, greater productivity, better time management, and higher profitability, would you do it? If the answer is yes, then read on to learn about the one slight change I implemented at Successful Culture to achieve these things. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner!

The STARS™ Model: Six Steps for Setting Your Three Intentions for 2016
What are your top three, non-negotiable outcomes for 2016? Here I share with you the details of my STARS™ Model, and how you can set fail-proof intentions to move you forward. My model applies to you on a personal level, as well as on an organizational level. We can create the future we want, once we claim the courage to clearly lay it out before us.

Four Things Businesses Overlook When Moving Employees to a New Position
When our companies are growing, quite often existing employees are the best people for our open positions. However, to successfully transition an employee from one position to another takes great planning, forethought, and careful execution. Here I identify the mistakes most companies make when employing this strategy, and steps a company can take to circumvent any problems & ensure a successful transition.

The Two Questions You Need to Answer When Faced with Indecision
Every day we are faced with dozens of decisions in our business. Some are inconsequential, but others are significant. Invariably, we will occasionally find ourselves at a crossroads. When that happens, how can we get unstuck? In this column, I walk you through a decision process, and share the two questions that every decision must answer. Indeed, clarity has a way of eliminating our options.

Do You Follow Leadership Rule #6?
I recently learned the most important rule of all to ensure happiness and peace of mind as we move through our leadership journeys. I am quite happy to share it with you here.

10 Cardinal Rules for Working with Friends
We’ve all considered working with friends. On the surface, it seems like a great idea. Who is more emotionally invested in your success than a good friend? However, this business relationship has potential for serious problems. Today I share the 10 cardinal rules for working with friends that will help you protect & strengthen your business and your personal relationships.

How to Manage The Three Types of Haters In Your Life
“Let’s be honest. We all want everyone to like us, but we know that’s unrealistic. No matter what we do, there will always be people that simply don’t get us. How do we manage these people? What kind of impact do we allow them to have in our lives? Today, I share the three types of Haters that show up in our lives, and the two essential strategies you must know to handle them.

4 Ways Perfection is Our Enemy and 4 Strategies to Embrace Imperfection
Are you chasing Perfection?  You will never catch it. Today I share with you the 4 ways our quest for perfection sabotages our progress and our happiness. I also share 4 strategies to shift your mindset so you can embrace imperfection. The beauty of our life lies in the shades of grey. It doesn’t reside in our absolutes.

Why You Must Have That Difficult Conversation – And How To Do It
Difficult conversations make us want to run for the hills, but we know that running away is just a temporary solution. In today’s ezine, I share with you why you must take on these conversations, and how to do it from beginning to end so that both parties feel respected, heard, and satisfied with the outcome.

My Inc. Magazine Columns

The link to access all of my Inc. Magazine columns is www.inc.com/author/marissa-levin.

Why You Should Ditch Your Goals in 2016

How to adapt a mindset of intention to drive quantum growth.

7 Simple Ways to Make the Workplace More Positive

Save the drama for your mama. Stay upbeat & energized all day long with the seven strategies for increased positivity.

16 Instagram Accounts That Can Teach You to Be a Better Leader

400 million monthly active users, forecasted to bring in $2.81 billion in ad revenue by 2017, can’t be wrong.

3 Foolproof Methods for Making Every Meeting Successful

Follow these three strategies to move your meetings from awful to awesome, and go from Zero to Hero with your team and in no time.

3 Mistakes Great Leaders Avoid When a Key Employee Leaves

Great leaders know that some employee turnover is inevitable, but organizational disruption from attrition is optional.

9 Leadership Behaviors That Lose Employee Trust and Respect

These proven strategies will demoralize, disrespect, uninspire, and alienate your employees, and highly motivate them to seek employment elsewhere.

What All Great Leaders Have in Common With NBA MVP Stephen Curry

Hitting 286 three-pointers in a single season is astounding. Staying humble and approachable while shattering records is awe-inspiring.

The Essential Guide to Avoiding Workplace Text, Email, and Social Media Disasters

Know the risks, educate your employees, and implement these guidelines to avoid inappropriate communications, lawsuits, and online smear campaigns.

Working With Your Spouse? How to Protect Your Business and Your Marriage

Wondering if you have what it takes to go to into business with your spouse? These lessons learned will help you decide to say “I do” – or “I don’t.”

How to Attract the Best Advisors for Growing Your Startup

Successful business owners know it takes a village of experts to build a great company. A strong recruiting strategy delivers great people and stellar results.

My SmartCEO Column: “Get On Board”

The link to access my most recent SmartCEO columns is http://smartceo.com/get-on-board-by-marissa-levin/. I have additional columns going back 3 years on my website at https://www.successfulculture.com/in-the-news/.

New year, new board: How to evolve, evaluate and exit board members

When it comes to employees, businesses should always be interviewing and meeting prospects. The time to recruit and interview new staffers isn’t when the company is in a desperate state of immediate need. The scanning process should be ongoing. It works the same way with advisory board members.

How the right advisors helped transform Yoko Co.

This month, we spotlight Yoko Co., a Virginia-based web-presence management company. Founder and CEO Chris Yoko talks about how he selected advisory board members who helped ground him personally and define his business vision.

How micro boards and flash boards can benefit your company

Recently, business owners have been asking me about “micro boards” and “flash boards.” These are temporary boards designed to address a specific challenge or growth goal. Think of them like the various pop-up stores that are springing up everywhere.

How SnapShot Interactive recruited the perfect group of advisors

This month, we spotlight SnapShot Interactive, a digital marketing firm, and its CEO, Mark Scrivner. Through one of its client engagements, SnapShot helped a nonprofit education organization raise more than $11.5 million in grants and donations.

Employee Engagement, sponsored by CBIZ MHM

Podcast: SmartCEO and CBIZ gathered distinguished members of the 2015 Brava class to discuss their strategies for employee engagement. I was the moderator for this lively discussion with these amazing leaders.

How virtual advisory boards could take your company to the next level

Today’s technology options allow business leaders to connect with advisors around the world, provide secure platforms for real-time and recorded collaboration, and share documents and information to keep the entire advisory board informed.

Thank you again for your support! We will return next week with original content as we move into the second quarter of 2016!

In gratitude,
Marissa

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How to Spring Clean Your People and Your Processes in Your Business

Hooray it’s almost Spring! It has been a long, cold winter with lots of hibernation.

4 Ways Perfection is Our Enemy and 4 Strategies to Embrace Imperfection

One of the questions I’m constantly asked is, “Marissa how do you get so much done?” Admittedly I move at a brisk pace. I don’t really have a choice, because I have a lot going on. However, we all do. We all have too much to do and not enough time. We are all somewhat controlled by both the blessing and the curse of our digital devices, which allow us to be accessible & on 24/7.

One of my secrets, however, is that I embrace the idea of imperfection. I will never be perfect. This doesn’t mean that I don’t give 100% effort, or that I’m satisfied with mediocrity. On the contrary, I tend to lean the other way. I set very high standards for myself, and strive to exceed the expectations of those that depend on me. However, I’ve also learned to recognize when I’ve crossed over into the dangerous zone of “perfection obsession,” and I’ve trained myself to embrace that “almost perfect” is usually acceptable.

One of my favorite business models is the Lean Start-Up Model. Rather than having every business element locked in place and etched in stone prior to launching an idea, this model allows for a much more fluid growth trajectory. The founder is able to constantly pivot direction in response to market feedback, throughout the life of the business. Rather than exerting energy in building an immovable & inflexible model, and then staying squarely in that pre-defined box, a leadership team can reconfigure the business to remain relevant & responsive.

For those that may have difficulty escaping the claws of perfection, I’ve identified 4 ways perfection impedes our progress.

1. It slows us down or stops us from moving through a milestone. The quest for perfection causes procrastination. We become so fixated on the perfect end-result that we don’t move forward until we are 100% there. When I wrote my book, “Built to SCALE,” I stayed focused on completion, rather than perfection. Ask any author how difficult it is to release a book, and they will tell you it is incredibly painful because we always have more to add or more to edit. It’s never really “finished” in our minds.
2. Perfection causes us to question our own accomplishments and achievements. We become so focused on what we haven’t completed or what haven’t done well that we forget how much we really have accomplished. Sometimes we just have to pause and be in gratitude of all we have accomplished. We forget the struggle we endured to arrive at where we are. This is a self-destructive mindset.
3. Perfection shifts our perspective from the journey to the end game. Focusing solely on the end-game or final deliverable impedes us from appreciating what is right in front of us. Suppose you never make it to your ending. Suppose you never achieve “perfection.” Will you still be able to look back and appreciate the good that came out of the journey?
4. Perfection removes the margins of error, setting us up failure. Are you defining yourself solely by a score of 100%? If you achieve 90% of your goals, can you appreciate your success? The beauty of life exists in our shades of grey and in the fringes, not in life’s absolutes, and certainly not with only smooth edges. Life is messy and unpredictable. Very little will go exactly as you expect. I have so many friends looking for the “perfect” job or the “perfect” partner. They continue to dismiss so many opportunities that are right in front of them. Allow yourself some breathing room, rather than only accepting perfection. Total inflexibility severely narrows our choices.

Shifting Our Mindset: Embracing Imperfection

1. Embrace progress. Create a sense of urgency about what you are trying to achieve. The quest for perfection can stall our momentum. If you have an idea, it does not have to be perfect for you to launch it! Put a deadline in place and move briskly to make it happen. Perfection is the enemy of progress.
2. Remember that others are not evaluating you the way you evaluate yourself. We are always our own worst critics. And for those that criticize us more severely than we criticize ourselves (which is hard), ignore them. (Reread my article on how to manage the three types of haters in your life). They aren’t in your corner. People generally see the accomplishment, not what’s missing.
3. Embrace “draft mode.” Draft mode makes everything a little lighter, a little less serious. Most of the time, if you make a mistake, you can fix it. It won’t be the end of the world. You can change your mind. You can move a little to the left or right. For major pushes, and in circumstances where people are depending on you, have confidence that you will do what’s necessary to make it work. For the smaller things, however, move briskly.
4. Remember to enjoy the journey! Refer back to my column about Rule #6. We must be mindful to appreciate how we are spending every day, not just the culmination of what we are working to achieve. Our endings are unwritten. As much as we plan, and as much as we think we know how things will turn out, they are not decided. Our time is limited and precious. The culmination may or may not deliver the happiness you have attached to the outcome. Your greatest potential for happiness lies in the journey, and in the little things leading up to the end.

I hope this perfectly framed the concept of imperfection for you. Good luck, and celebrate the wins!

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How to Manage The Three Types of Haters In Your Life

10 Cardinal Rules for Working with Friends

Ask any business owner if they’ve ever worked with friends, and you will likely get a yes. How they answer you (with a scowl or with a smile), will determine if it turned out well.

One of my clients is WAKA, an 18-year old company that has put kickball and social sports for young professionals on the map. The three owners  have been friends for more than two decades. They have mastered the art of “working with friends.” This doesn’t mean they haven’t experienced turmoil or conflict. In fact, one of my key roles in working with them was to help them move through some inertia that was stalling their continued growth. They have aggressive growth goals over the next 3-5 years, and decision-by-consensus was slowing momentum.

Nevertheless, these three life-long friends have managed to maintain and strengthen their brotherly bonds as they’ve built their business. So how have they done it? They’ve followed what I have identified as the 10 cardinal rules for working with friends.

1: Alignment of core values regarding life and business. It would seem natural that our friends would share our values, but this isn’t always the case. If we’re going into business with anyone, there must be alignment of values. If you are a high-value service provider but your friend is focused on being a low-cost service provider, you’re not driven by the same outcomes. If you are a workaholic, but your friend is focused on work-life balance, you are misaligned regarding focus. Misalignment of values is a non-starter.

2: Clearly defined roles & responsibilities. What is expected of each person? You would never hire a stranger without clearly defined roles & responsibilities. Clearly spell out what you expect of anyone you work with, and what they can expect of you.

3:No exceptions to any rules: All restrictions/processes apply. When I started my first company Information Experts 20 years ago, I hired a friend as a sub-contractor. She was required to sign a non-compete and a non-disclosure agreement, like all of my subcontractors. If I showed favoritism, this would have set a precedent that rules only apply to certain people in my company. Sadly, she violated both documents. She stole my content, and solicited work directly from my client. Again, I had to set a precedent with this situation. Our attorney issued a cease-and-desist letter, demanding that she cease solicitation. My client broke ties with her, I fired her, and that was the end of the friendship. This goes back to Rule #1: Alignment of core values. She valued money more than our friendship.

4: Respect of financial arrangements. The mixing of money and friendships, especially in business, is a potential landmine.  Should you decide to work with a friend, do whatever is necessary to minimize financial friction. Stay away from loans and promisory notes. Pay your friend on time, in accordance with the agreed upon terms. Working with a friend is not permission to take financial advantage.

5: Respect of the value and worth of each party. This past week, I had conversations with two good friends that own businesses, who are experts in their fields, that feel disrespected, devalued, and taken for granted by friends they’ve worked with. They both chose to charge their friends significantly discounted rates for their services. This is a terrible idea, and almost always backfires. A true friend would not expect another friend to decrease her market rate, which is essentially communicating, “I don’t think you are worth what you are charging others.” Conversely, the friend that discounts her rate ends up feeling as if she’s giving away her services. “I felt bad” or “I felt guilty” is almost always the outcome.

6: Establishment of a way out of the business arrangement. Every business arrangement requires an “out” clause, and this situation is no different. Discuss ahead of time the possibility that one may want to terminate the arrangement. Should that occur, exit gracefully and graciously. Don’t make it personal, and don’t take it personally.

7: Respect of confidentiality. As with any business relationship, do not discuss your business with others. Don’t share proprietary company information, don’t discuss the relationship challenges, don’t gossip. Treat the business part of your relationship with utmost respect and confidentiality.

8: Ability to have difficult conversations. Difficult conversations are stressful. Especially when we blend our personal & professional lives, there is a lot at stake if a difficult conversation goes wrong. However, not having the conversation is even worse. Trust that you can have a respectful, constructive dialogue, and make it happen to move past any feelings of resentment or anger that may be building.

9: Care and feeding of your friendship outside of the business. To preserve the friendship, set aside time to just be friends. Grab lunch, go to a movie or a museum, or text/email/call with no business agenda – just to say hello.

10: Finally, Remember Rule #6 from my last column. Don’t take yourself so seriously. It’s just business. Businesses come and go, but our most important friendships endure.

A Note about mentorship, service donations, and trades

We all have much to contribute to others! Mentorship and pro-bono or discounted services are wonderful ways to help others move forward, especially when we can help socially impactful organizations fulfill their missions. When we agree to mentor someone, or donate our services to a non-profit, we still must spell out the terms so that both parties know what to expect. The only thing missing is the exchange of money.

I have done many successful trades for service as well. Again, spell out all terms & conditions so that there are no surprises. These arrangements are still business relationships.

In Other SC News….

Sign up here to receive Successful Culture’s leadership blog every Friday. All posts contain actionable content to make you the best leader you can be, to help you develop your people to their greatest potential, and to help you build your best organization.

Successful Culture accepts applications for its TransformU coaching program on a rolling basis. All one-on-one coaching spots are currently filled, however, we will open more spots in 2nd quarter. The TransformU coaching program is only for CEOs and leaders seeking a high level of accountability, who are ready to build the right foundation, and move to the next level of growth. All engagements follow a customized road map to move the client from current state to desired state. A mandatory skype interview and online assessment will determine if the TransformU program is a fit. You can learn more about the TransformU program on the Successful Culture website here. Please email me at [email protected] with any questions.

The Annual SC Customer Appreciation Luncheon Was Amazing!

I recently honored about 40 SC clients at our annual Customer Appreciation Luncheon. I spoke about the gifts that each client brings to the world every day in their own business accomplishments, and expressed my gratitude for their trust in my leadership to move them forward to the next levels of growth. Everyone made important connections too! I can’t wait for our Spring community gathering. Will you be engaging Successful Culture to help with your growth, and joining us too?

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Sign up here to receive Successful Culture’s leadership blog every Friday. All posts contain actionable content to make you the best leader you can be, to help you develop your people to their greatest potential, and to help you build your best organization.

About Successful Culture
We work with business owners, CEOs, and leadership teams that want to achieve their greatest personal & organizational potential. Through coaching, strategic consulting, retreat facilitation, and workshops, we equip leaders & emerging leaders with the mindset, tools, strategies, and processes they need to excel.

Ready to move forward? Email us today at [email protected]

Connect with me on Instragram, Facebook, and Twitter. Engage with me during my morning Periscope sessions as well (@marissalevin).

Please check out my Inc. Magazine columns on my Author Page too.
– In my latest Inc, article, I share The Essential Guide to Avoiding Workplace Text, Email, & Social Media Disasters.
– Learn about the 9 Leadership Behaviors that Lose Employee Trust & Respect here.

~Marissa Levin
CEO, Successful Culture
“Taking Leaders from Triage to Transformation.”

Do You Follow Leadership Rule #6?

I recently spent a Saturday afternoon with 600 other people from around the globe attending a 3-hour online leadership program conducted by leadership expert Seth Godin. The program included nine modules, covering topics such as culture, strategy, leadership versus management, how to enroll your followers, certain failure, and authority versus responsibility. All topics had “ah-ha moments” but the one topic that re-surfaces for me every day is “Don’t Forget Rule #6.”

Seth shared a story of a prime minister who had been reminded by one of his assistants, immediately prior to an important meeting, to always follow Rule #6: “Don’t take yourself so seriously.”

The rule, Seth explained, is not “Don’t take the problem seriously.” The rule is “Don’t take yourself so seriously.” We must be able to separate our personal, physical entities from our situations. When we allow our situations to consume our identities, we attach our happiness to a specific outcome. We are not our problems.

Truth be told, leaders place a lot on the line. Everything we are trying to build and put together is on the line every day. Every day, something is threatening to bring it all crashing down.

So, it’s easy to take yourself really seriously. It’s easy to wake up every day in a somber mood, completely lost in your own head, certain that your problems are the greatest problems a leader has ever faced. This is what happens when we lose ourselves in an external circumstance. However, there is zero evidence that taking yourself really seriously helps you solve the problem. There is no evidence that connecting our total identities to our situations equips us with what we need to drive our outcomes.

“There is no evidence that freaking out because you are about to be judged and seen as a fraud makes you do a better job of solving the problem,” says Seth.

In fact, when we face our problems from a place of distress, anxiety, and fear, we are suppressing the parts of our brains that we need for creative problem solving. When we focus on the situation/problem with some distance, rather than focusing on ourselves, we have much greater clarity because we can step outside the situation for some objective perspective.

It’s undeniable that building a business and leading others is challenging, stressful work, that stretches us way beyond our comfort zones. The goal, however is to bend us so that we grow, not break us.

One of my favorite writers, Brene Brown, explains the difference between enmeshment and empathy when we want to help others who are going through a difficult time. Enmeshment occurs when we completely immerse ourselves in a problem…when we become one with the problem. This is an unhealthy way to help. When we become enmeshed, we lose sight of where the problem ends and where we begin. We are all rolled up into one.

Empathy allows us to help at a distance. We can be most compassionate when we can remain strong & supportive. Think about this concept as it applies to you. When you have a serious challenge, are you enmeshed and consumed by it? Or can you maintain some distance, and show some self-compassion so that you can calmly navigate through it?

I personally follow a mantra when I find myself with my back against the wall: “Regardless if I come to a problem from a place of calm or chaos, I will invariably end up at the same place.” So, I intentionally choose calm. Because chaos is a complete drag.

As you build your culture, your mission, and your dream, is it necessary to violate Rule 6 in order to get there? If it is, is it worth it?

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Sign up here to receive Successful Culture’s leadership blog every Friday. All posts contain actionable content to make you the best leader you can be, to help you develop your people to their greatest potential, and to help you build your best organization.

About Successful Culture
We work with business owners, CEOs, and leadership teams that want to achieve their greatest personal & organizational potential. Through coaching, strategic consulting, retreat facilitation, and workshops, we equip leaders & emerging leaders with the mindset, tools, strategies, and processes they need to excel.

Ready to move forward? Email us today at [email protected]

Connect with me on Instragram, Facebook, and Twitter. Engage with me during my morning Periscope sessions as well (@marissalevin).

Please check out my Inc. Magazine columns on my Author Page too.
– In my latest Inc, article, I share The Essential Guide to Avoiding Workplace Text, Email, & Social Media Disasters.
– Learn about the 9 Leadership Behaviors that Lose Employee Trust & Respect here.

~Marissa Levin
CEO, Successful Culture
“Taking Leaders from Triage to Transformation.”